Subtle Ways We Behave When We Don’t Love Ourselves: How to Turn it Around Now!

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Estimated reading time: 7 minutes

Positive affirmations are a powerful tool to help change our negative thought patterns and cultivate self-love and self-appreciation.

We don’t love ourselves when we engage in subtle behaviors perpetuating negative self-talk and self-doubt. These behaviors harm our mental health and well-being and prevent us from living our lives to the fullest.

This blog post explores common subtle ways we behave when we don’t love ourselves and how to turn it around now with positive affirmations.


Throughout my own transformative journey, I discovered the subtle yet powerful ways in which we behave when we don’t truly love ourselves.

For far too long, I poured every ounce of care and compassion into others, inadvertently neglecting my well-being. As a result, I played the role of a caregiver rather than an equal partner, which eventually took its toll on my mental and emotional health and my relationships.

But it was during my darkest moments I realized something had to change. I consciously decided to confront the negative self-talk that had held me back for far too long.

Day by day, I started dismantling the walls I had erected against self-love. I began by embracing positive affirmations, replacing self-doubt with empowering thoughts and beliefs.

With each affirmation, I planted and nurtured a seed of self-worth, watching it grow into a foundation of love and acceptance.

Step by step, I embarked on a remarkable journey of self-discovery and self-care.

  • I learned to prioritize my own needs and desires without guilt or hesitation.
  • I committed to practicing self-compassion, treating myself with the same kindness and understanding that I had so readily extended to others.

Unlearning Old Patterns

It was a beautiful process of unlearning old patterns and embracing a new way of being.

Through my own experiences, I became inspired to share my story and help others break free from the chains of self-neglect.

I am here to guide you on your own path toward self-love and transformation. Together, we will navigate the intricate landscapes of self-discovery, fostering a deep connection with ourselves and creating a life filled with love, joy, and fulfillment.

Join me in this empowering journey, and let’s turn the tide on self-sabotaging behaviors.

It’s time to break free, unleash your true potential, and cultivate a profound love for yourself, radiating into every aspect of your life.

Remember, each day is a new opportunity to embrace self-love and rewrite the story of our lives.

Together, we will create a world where self-love is celebrated and recognized as the foundation for living an extraordinary life.

Here are some categories of these behaviors, along with inspiring ideas and positive affirmations to help change our mindsets and refocus on the positive.


When we don’t love ourselves, we feel the need to please others to gain their approval and validation.

This leads to us neglecting our needs and desires, which causes resentment and burnout.

Instead of people-pleasing, practice setting healthy boundaries and prioritizing your own needs.

Positive Affirmations

  • “My needs are important and deserve to be met.”
  • “I am worthy of respect and love, even if I say no.”
  • “It’s okay to prioritize my own needs and desires.”
  • “I am responsible for my own happiness.”


We engage in negative self-talk and harsh self-criticism when we don’t love ourselves.

This leads to feelings of worthlessness and inadequacy.

Instead of criticizing yourself, practice self-compassion and speak kindly to yourself.

Positive Affirmations

  • “I am worthy of love and respect.”
  • “I am enough just as I am.”
  • “I choose to speak kindly to myself.”
  • “I am worthy of love and acceptance.”


When we don’t love ourselves, we compare ourselves to others and feel inferior.

This takes us down a road of jealousy and inadequacy.

Instead of comparing yourself to others, focus on your own unique strengths and accomplishments.

Positive Affirmations

  • “I am unique and have my own special talents and gifts.”
  • “I celebrate my own unique strengths and accomplishments.”
  • “I am confident in my own abilities and talents.”
  • “I choose to focus on my own journey and progress.”

Self- Doubt

When we don’t love ourselves, we doubt our own abilities and question whether we are good enough.

This leads to miserable feelings of insecurity and self-doubt.

Instead of doubting yourself, practice self-belief and have faith in your own abilities.

Positive Affirmations

  • “I am capable of achieving my goals and dreams.”
  • “I believe in my own abilities to achieve my goals.”
  • “I trust my intuition and decisions.”
  • “I am capable of overcoming any obstacle.”

Low Self-Esteem

When we don’t love ourselves, we experience low self-esteem and feel unworthy of love and respect.

This ultimately leads to feelings of depression and anxiety.

Manage low self-esteem by practicing self-love and focusing on our own positive qualities.

Positive Affirmations

  • “I am worthy of love and respect just as I am.”
  • “I am deserving of love and respect just as I am.”
  • “I acknowledge and appreciate my own positive qualities.”
  • “I choose to see myself in a positive light.”

By repeating these positive affirmations daily, we can slowly begin to shift our mindset and cultivate a deeper sense of self-love and self-appreciation.

How to Pivot to Self-Love Now

Remember, it takes time and consistent effort to change our thought patterns, but we can improve our lives with practice.

So, start practicing these positive affirmations today and watch as your self-esteem and confidence begin to soar!

Taking just 5 minutes a day to listen to and mindfully repeat positive affirmations can be an excellent way to start learning how to love yourself again.

It may sound simple, but the act of repeating positive affirmations has a profound impact on our mindset and self-esteem.

When we listen to and repeat positive affirmations, we are essentially reprogramming our subconscious mind to think positively and see ourselves in a more positive light. By doing this regularly, we can begin to break free from negative thought patterns and cultivate a deeper sense of self-love and self-appreciation.

Here are some tips to help you get started with listening to and repeating positive affirmations:

  • Set aside 5 minutes each day to focus on positive affirmations. Choose a time when you can be alone and free from distractions.
  • Find a quiet and comfortable space to relax and focus your attention.
  • Choose positive affirmations that resonate with you and your current needs. You can find many positive affirmations online or create your own.
  • Close your eyes and take a few deep breaths to calm your mind and body.
  • Listen to the positive affirmations or repeat them to yourself in your mind. Visualize yourself experiencing the positive outcomes of the affirmations.

After you have finished, take a moment to reflect on how you feel. Notice any changes in your mood or mindset.


In a world where self-love often takes a backseat to caring for others, it’s time to reclaim our own happiness and well-being.

In my journey of self-discovery, I confronted the subtle behaviors that arise when we don’t truly love ourselves.

I learned firsthand the toll it takes on our mental and emotional health and our relationships.

Remember, the key to making positive affirmations work is consistency and persistence.

Make it a daily habit and commit to practicing it regularly. With time and practice, you can learn to love yourself again and cultivate a deeper sense of self-love and self-appreciation.

Sign up for my weekly newsletter and Join me as we explore the transformative process of embracing self-love. I reveal practical strategies and insights to help you prioritize your own needs, nurture your inner self, and create a life filled with joy and fulfillment.

But that’s not all! To support you on your journey, I’ve created a Kindle eBook filled with an array of powerful positive affirmations. These affirmations will guide you daily, reinforcing self-love and cultivating a mindset of abundance and confidence. To access this invaluable resource, click the link below to download your copy from Amazon.

It’s time to break free from self-sabotaging behaviors and step into a life of self-love, purpose, and fulfillment. Are you ready to embark on this transformative journey? Let’s take the first step together. Download my Kindle eBook now and unlock the power of positive affirmations to create a life you truly love!

Together, we will uncover the subtle ways we sabotage our happiness and discover the path to turning it around.

Thanks for stopping by!

Until next time,


We all have unlimited potential.

Hi! I’m Suzanne and welcome to my blog. For more than two decades of teaching, writing, and public speaking, I’ve been inspiring children, teens, and adults to cultivate their potential.

With proven experience and being a published author of conflict management and children’s books, you’ll find practical strategies for personal development.

Most importantly, you’ll discover life lessons for living a fulfilled life.

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