How to Channel Your Inner Strength in Difficult Conversations (Competing Style)

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Estimated reading time: 8 minutes

Unlock the power of the competing style in conflict resolution with assertiveness and self-reflection.

Dive into journal prompts and self-love exercises to enhance resilience and personal growth.

Harness your inner strength to master difficult conversations and protect your interests without compromising relationships.

Journaling for Conflict Resolution

Conflict often arrives uninvited, affecting our well-being and relationships.

But what if you had a journal by your side, guiding you toward clarity and growth?

Maintaining a self-love journal is transformative for managing conflicts.

Grab your journal and get started harnessing its power in resolving conflicts.


With a background as a retired chartered mediator, my focus was on resolving workplace and divorce disputes.

My expertise revolves around understanding conflict management strategies and their profound influence on relationships.

This article takes a deep dive into the competing style, emphasizing the subtle aspects of conflict management micro-skills.

It provides exclusive insights and journal prompts to help you expand your understanding and foster personal growth in this distinctive approach.

Introduction to the Competing Style

In life, we often find ourselves facing challenging conversations and conflicts demanding our unwavering determination and inner strength.

The competing conflict management style is a bold and assertive approach that requires harnessing your inner power to effectively navigate tough conversations.

Exploring the Characteristics of Competing

The competing style is marked by its resolute nature.

Individuals who favor this style are unafraid to assert their needs, opinions, and desires.

They thrive in high-stakes situations, valuing results and their own objectives above all else.

Understanding the characteristics of this style is crucial to employing it effectively.

The competing conflict management style, characterized by its assertive and results-oriented nature, offers both valuable benefits and potential drawbacks when employed in conflict resolution.

To effectively wield this approach, it’s essential to recognize its advantages and limitations, enabling you to make informed choices in the face of challenging situations.

Pros of the Competing Style

  1. Swift Resolutions: Competing often leads to rapid conflict resolutions. By assertively pursuing your objectives, you can swiftly address issues and achieve your desired outcomes. This can be particularly advantageous in time-sensitive situations where quick decisions are essential.
  2. Protection of Personal Interests: This style places a strong emphasis on safeguarding your interests and priorities. When you compete, you assertively advocate for what matters to you, ensuring your needs and goals are addressed and protected.
  3. Clarity and Transparency: Competing encourages open and clear communication. By expressing your views and intentions assertively, you reduce the chances of misunderstandings or misinterpretations, which can be common sources of conflict.
  4. Empowerment: Choosing the competing style can empower you to take control of difficult situations. It allows you to assert your authority and influence the direction of the conversation or negotiation.

Cons of the Competing Style

  1. Strained Relationships: One of the significant drawbacks of the competing style is its potential to strain relationships. When you prioritize your own interests and objectives over others’, it can lead to resentment, conflicts, and damage to long-term relationships.
  2. Neglect of Others’ Perspectives: Competing may disregard or minimize the input and perspectives of others involved in the conflict. This can hinder collaboration and creative problem-solving, as alternative viewpoints are not considered.
  3. Escalation of Conflict: Competing can escalate conflicts rather than resolve them if not managed carefully. When individuals involved in a dispute adopt a competitive stance, it can intensify the disagreement, making it more challenging to find common ground.
  4. Limited Focus on Relationship Building: The competing style often focuses primarily on achieving individual goals, which can leave little room for building or nurturing relationships. This limitation may hinder your ability to collaborate effectively in the future.

Strategic Implementation of Competing

To harness the strengths of the competing style while mitigating its potential downsides, it’s essential to approach conflicts strategically.

Recognize when assertiveness and prioritizing your interests are necessary, but also be mindful of the impact on relationships and the overall goal of conflict resolution.

Consider employing competing when facing high-stakes situations where quick decisions or protecting personal interests are paramount.

However, being prepared to shift to a more collaborative approach when fostering relationships and considering alternative viewpoints is essential for long-term success.

Incorporate journal prompts and self-love exercises into your conflict management journey to reflect on the pros and cons of the competing style.

Use these insights to refine your approach and navigate challenging conversations with confidence and resilience.

Embracing the competing style in your personal growth journey involves honing your assertiveness and conflict management skills.

Here are some strategies and insights to help you integrate competing effectively, fostering resilience and personal growth.

Assertive Communication

Develop strong communication skills to express your needs, concerns, and boundaries clearly and respectfully.

This helps you assert your interests and promotes understanding in conflicts.


Regularly engage in self-reflection to assess your motives and intentions when using the competing style.

Ask yourself why you feel the need to compete in certain situations and whether it aligns with your personal growth goals.

Identify Trigger Points

Recognize the specific triggers or situations prompting you to adopt the competing style.

Understanding these triggers can help you manage your responses and make more conscious choices.

Conflict Assessment

Before engaging in a competing approach, assess the conflict’s nature and significance.

Reserve competing for situations where your interests are genuinely at risk and other styles might not be effective.

Seek Feedback

Encourage open communication with others and be willing to receive feedback on your assertiveness.

This provides valuable insights into the impact of your competing style on relationships.

Consider Long-Term Goals

When competing, evaluate whether the short-term gains align with your long-term personal growth objectives.

Strive for a balance between assertiveness and maintaining meaningful relationships.

Emotional Intelligence

Cultivate emotional intelligence to recognize and manage your emotions effectively during conflicts.

This skill allows you to stay composed and focused on constructive outcomes.

Conflict Resolution Skills

Develop a toolbox of conflict resolution techniques, including negotiation, compromise, and active listening.

These skills can complement your competing approach when necessary.

Learning from Experience

Reflect on past experiences where competing was employed.

Identify areas for improvement and growth and commit to applying these lessons in future conflicts.

Balancing Styles

Remember that personal growth involves adapting your conflict management style to each situation’s specific context and needs.

Competing should be one of several tools in your toolkit, not the default response.

Self-Love and Self-Care

Incorporate self-love journal prompts and self-care activities into your personal growth routine.

These practices help you maintain mental and emotional well-being as you navigate conflicts.

By strategically integrating the competing style into your personal growth journey, you harness your inner strength to protect your interests while fostering resilience and effective conflict management.

This balanced approach enables you to achieve your personal growth goals without compromising the relationships that matter most.

Personal growth is an ongoing process. Mastering the competing style is just one facet of your journey toward a more fulfilling and harmonious life.

Journal Prompts for the Competing Style of Conflict Management

Incorporate journal prompts, self-love exercises, and actionable steps to better understand the competing style and empower yourself in difficult conversations.

Unlock your inner strength and master the art of competing with confidence.

Here are 10 journal prompts for self-reflection on the Competing Style of conflict management:

Reflecting on Past Use of Competing Style

  • When was the last time you used the competing style in a conflict? What were the outcomes, and how did it affect your relationships?
  • Reflect on situations where a competing approach may have been the best way to handle a conflict. What factors made it suitable in those instances?
  • Have you ever faced a situation where competing resulted in strained relationships or escalated the conflict further? What lessons did you learn from this experience?
  • Consider a conflict where you initially chose a different conflict management style but later realized that competing might have been more effective. What insights can you gain from this reflection?

Effective Use of Competing Style

  • How can you maintain a healthy level of assertiveness when using the competing style, ensuring that your goals are met without causing harm to relationships?
  • Describe an experience where the competing style led to a swift and successful resolution. What strategies or skills did you employ to achieve this outcome?
  • Explore the concept of compromise within the competing style. Are there scenarios where you can assert your interests while also considering the needs and perspectives of others?
  • Reflect on the role of clarity and transparency when using competing. How can you ensure that your assertiveness is conveyed clearly to avoid misunderstandings?

Future Growth and Mastery

  • Describe an ideal scenario where you successfully used the competing style to protect your interests without harming relationships. What steps can you take to recreate such situations in the future?
  • Think about your future self as a master of the competing style. What qualities and habits would this future version of you possess, and how would they influence your approach to conflicts?

These categories should help you effectively navigate and explore your experiences and insights related to the competing style in conflict management.

These journal prompts will help you delve into your experiences with the competing style, gain deeper insights, and refine your conflict resolution skills.

The How to Guide for the Best Conflict Styles and Better Resolutions

Get insider knowledge about the best conflict management styles for better resolutions.


Conflict can unexpectedly disrupt our lives and relationships. However, a self-love journal serves as a steadfast ally to help us prepare for it.

Enhance your resilience and personal growth by utilizing journal prompts and self-love exercises to harness the competing style effectively.

These prompts provide a guided path for self-reflection and skill development in conflict management.

By reflecting on assertiveness, communication skills, and relationship dynamics, you channel your inner strength and master the art of navigating difficult conversations successfully.

Thanks for stopping by!

Until next time,


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Hi! I’m Suzanne and welcome to my blog. For more than two decades of teaching, writing, and public speaking, I’ve been inspiring children, teens, and adults to cultivate their potential.

With proven experience and being a published author of conflict management and children’s books, you’ll find practical strategies for personal development.

Most importantly, you’ll discover life lessons for living a fulfilled life.

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